By: James Banyard
Like all satirical comedy shows that sail close to the edge, this one opens with a legal disclaimer.
Out of work actor Alex (Rob Madge) makes crystal clear at the start about the story he is going to tell us regarding the ‘famously litigious’ Barbra Streisand: “None of this is real“.
Actually, some parts of his story are true.
The leaping off point for Buyer and Cellar, a frantic and funny one person production this week in The Drum, is that Streisand really does have a tiny shopping centre under her California home containing a dolls shop, gift shop, and sweet shop. She really did tell Oprah Winfrey in 2009 that she didn’t have dolls as a child, so nursed a hot water bottle: “I didn’t have a doll, so I put hot water into a hot water bottle which felt like a real person”, and her book ‘My Passion for Design’ has pictures of the shopping mall.
The satirical leap which sends this story into an exploration of the absurdity of celebrity and our desperate relationship with them is: what if someone had to work in this underground mall? Alex becomes the ‘lucky’ person who lands the unusual job of managing the private shopping mall in the basement of Barbra Streisand’s Malibu home. This feature length comedy written by Jonathan Tolins and directed by Kirk Jameson promises laughs, an exploration of the absurdity of fame, and lashings of satire.
Fast-talking Alex quickly finds that working in an ersatz mall with only one customer gets really boring, really quickly. There are no clocks down there, and the days pass slowly. There is only so much dusting one can do of the Dior suits. But then, one day, Barbra arrives. She wants to buy an antique teddy bear. This first interaction between Alex and Barbra – or Sadie, as the name she drapes over herself – over an item that Barbra clearly already owns has the flavour of a heated role play, where each is goaded incessantly to break role, but knows they cannot. They spar over the price, Alex has to invent a flamboyant and tear-jerking history for the Teddy, Barbra tells him the story of the hot water bottle, and then she comes back later in the week with a creative intervention to secure the deal. It’s a brilliantly handled comic set up that escalates beautifully, and one of the strongest sequences in the play.
Actor Rob Madge, known for their show My Son’s a Queer (But What Can You Do?), won the 2022 WhatsOnStage Award for Best Off-West End Show and was later nominated for a 2023 Laurence Olivier Award. Their technical accomplishment of maintaining a high energy script for nearly 100 minutes deserves plenty of recognition. Not all the jokes land with this audience given the specialist Hollywood setting, but there are plenty who get the bizarre cultural references. Madge is a sophisticated actor with plenty of intricate detail delivered, at times, at a bazillion miles an hour.
The relationship between Alex and Barbra develops, and in keeping with the comedic form, continues to escalate. He is part childish friend, part playmate, part therapist. At one point he is nothing more than a colour swatch. Alex’s boyfriend Barry calls him a ‘weird slave’ after he agrees to stay late to serve frozen yoghurt. Barbra gets upset over a discussion about paying overtime.
This is an entertaining and intense show. Some might question whether the central messages ‘celebrities are strange’ and ‘our relationship with them is odd’ is worth the effort to ask, since few would disagree on either point. I appreciated the lengths the writer takes us on the journey from the original what if scenario, and saw merit in Madge’s performance. If you like fast talking Hollywood trash culture, sassy delivery, and absurd satire, this show is definitely for you.